How to Stay Sustainable In Music

In this post I want to talk about how so many people are holding themselves back in their music because they’re so worried about what their friends and family think about it.

So I wanted to share a little bit of advice and a key realization that really helped me... 

Note: For the purpose of this post, we are going to ignore financial sustainability, and focus on long-term emotional sustainability, as I believe this is an even more core foundation than the financial stability... because without proper emotional sustainability around your music, you will likely never get to financial stability.

Here it is:

Your biggest fans are not going to be your family.

And they’re not going to be your friends.

And they're not going to be publishers or labels.

They’re going to be random strangers you’ve never met on the Internet.

Now depending on your friend group, I’m not saying that your friends and family won’t be supportive...

But there’s a very low chance that they will be legitimate fans.

Yet I find so many people are finishing music and sending it to their friends and family and hoping to get positive feedback from them to raise their spirits and help them feel like what they’re doing is worthwhile in music.

Or they are sending out tracks to labels or publishers, and their entire sense of worth is hanging on what the label or publisher says... (This is actually why many publishers do NOT respond when they reject a track... because it's a terrible feeling to reject someone, and know they may take it badly. This is why many may avoid it all together and you get ghosted.)

But unfortunately, you very rarely get the feedback you’re looking for when you do this.

Your friends and family just don’t know what to say - often they will just say empty things that will either make you feel temporarily better or make you feel worse.

But often it won’t be constructive or actually helpful.

And a label or publisher just usually doesn't have the time to respond with thoughtful critique - they will usually say "Sorry! Not for us!" - give some kind of attempted critique in their response that often doesn't seem to make sense at all - or just not respond at all.

And after getting this kind of feedback, many people will go back into their heads, keep reworking the music, and potentially never release it or share it online.

This creates an extremely unhealthy cycle of continuing to never finish what you’re working on and always trying to get approval and positive feedback from others for you to validate your work.

But this will not work in the long run if you are after emotional sustainability. 

The only way to lasting sustainability and growth is to flip the script & change where you get your validation from.

You must have a big enough reason WHY you are making music.

You must be able to give yourself permission to NOT make the most amazing thing every single time.

And you must be OK with other people around you not connecting with what you do.

You must cultivate your sense of internal validation.

What you create is good enough because you’re enjoying the process and it’s a healthy thing for you.

Cultivating this feeling means you can let go of what anybody else thinks about your music - whether positive or negative.

This is the path to true sustainability.

• To properly cultivate self-validation will allow you to finish your work.

• It will let you share your work online without expectation.

• It will stop your perfectionism.

• It will help you to stop unfairly comparing yourself to others.

• It will let you start growing by helping you to share more openly, which will let the people who will legitimately care about your work be able to find it.

• It will let you keep creating even when people give you negative feedback.

• And it will keep you humble even when people tell you your music is amazing.

Give yourself the validation you’re looking for.

Stop trying to fill the hole through others telling you your music is good.

Is this easier said than done? Of course.

But it starts with observing yourself and feeling inside.

Next time someone is giving you feedback, observe your own internal reactions and practice detaching from whatever they say, even if it’s positive.

This practice will help break the cycle of relying on others' feedback for your validation.

Let me be clear: This doesn't mean that you can't take feedback and consider it for yourself and make changes that make sense to YOU. And it also doesn't mean to be cold or unappreciative of their feedback. It simply means that you do not need to go on an emotional roller coaster, regardless of what they say.

The point is to separate this feedback from your sense of VALIDATION.

What they think about your music is for them, not for you.

Share it regardless. Move onto the next one. 

You’ve got music to make.

Do it enough, and those random strangers who fall in love with what you create will begin to show up...

And you will be in a healthy enough mental state to stay humble and keep creating.

Which is your only job...

Create. Get It Into The World. Repeat.

If you're looking for help in your music making process, consider my in-depth courses that will accelerate your progress quickly.